I Find Strength When I'm With You
by McEvoyer
Summary: 2x21 Speculation Drabble. Oliver thinks the only way to end this is to surrender to Slade. Felicity, on the other hand, completely disagrees and tries to change his mind. Can she get through to him?


**Hey guys! So this is a short speculation drabble for episode 2x21 (even though I know it will never happen this way haha). Anywho, I hope you like what you read! :)**

**Alas, I do not own Arrow.**

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It had been a week since Moira Queen had been murdered.

A week filled with a whole array of emotions and tension; a seven day test of strength. The air somehow felt thicker than ever, choking and smothering the city and casting this weight on the inhabitants as they trudged from day to day. It was as though the weather had picked up on the shift in the atmosphere; the sun hiding away behind rain-swollen charcoal clouds as if afraid to show its face and though not much information had been relayed, the people of Starling moved around in keen awareness that there was a sick murderer on the loose.

In the middle of it all stood a broken Team Arrow.

Roy had been hooked up to enough Tibetan Pit Viper venom to kill a farm as his body lay eerily still on the medical table in the foundry; Sara had been popping in and out like a cuckoo clock checking up on leads but spent most of her time tracking down Nyssa and refusing to talk about, well, anything; Diggle had been shadowing a silent Thea, looking more exhausted than ever; Oliver was an empty shell of the man he was.

And Felicity felt her energy zap from her as each day brought them nowhere closer to finding Slade or figuring out who the next person on his hit-list was. Never had she felt so devoid of life, so mechanical as she searched in a somewhat unthinking, robotic way; and yet, on the flip side, her sense had never been so alert. Every nerve was alive, waiting, tickling with anticipation for the game-changing moment when something would finally swing in their direction. Because it would come – _that_ she believed.

It was her job to find him. Or, at least that's what she believed. She was the girl who did the tracking, the hacking, the research; she was _the_ girl – and they were going to take him down.

She just wished she wasn't so tired.

It was exactly a week after her death down to the hour when Oliver announced his next move. It was only the two of them in the foundry: Felicity at the computer, tapping and clicking and working away, running scans on literally everything, and Oliver doing the salmon ladder for the umpteenth time that day.

So it was just the two of them alone in the screaming silence, words and thoughts lost like breaths into the air when she heard him drop down with a mighty thud and heavy sigh. Sensing a difference in the way he lingered over there and away from her, she gazed over at him, giving him all her attention as her hands grasped the armrests tightly.

His eyes were dark and sad, the usual ocean blue dimmed into something far more sinister. "We can't keep doing this," was all he said.

His voice was lower, huskier than ever and Felicity's stomach dropped at its tone, a wave of unease washing over her. "Doing what?" she asked evenly.

"This." He gestured tightly around him, flicking his stare back in her direction. "It's been a week. Slade's building an army and we're no closer to figuring out how to stop him."

"But we'll find a way, Oliver," she asserted in that hopeful pitch she'd been sending his way for weeks now. She knew all too well how flat it had started to sound over time, but she also knew how important it was to maintain that sense of optimism – otherwise they'd all crumble under the weight of circumstances, a defeated team. "We always do."

His expression turned pained at her words, his feet doing that shuffling thing they always did when he was uncomfortable. "There's only one way all of this can end and I think we all know what that is."

Felicity stood, her legs at little shaky, and she swallowed hard. "What are you saying?" she questioned through hooded eyelids, praying that her hunch was wrong.

Oliver's stare dropped for the first time. "I'm going to surrender to Slade." His chin raised in resolution, his jaw strained. "I'm the one he wants to destroy and until then, everyone else I care about is going to be ripped away from me. I can't let anyone else die."

"But he'll kill you!" she retorted defiantly, her heart hammering against her ribs. "_You _will die!"

He risked a step closer to her, his eyes appraising her with the gentlest of gazes. "This is how it has to be. And I think I've always known this was the way…I just couldn't accept it. But now…I have to do this."

Her ponytail swung violently as she stomped down the distance between them, their bodies mere centimetres apart. "Well I don't accept that! This is not how it ends for you! There is another way – there is always another way! We _will_ defeat him!" His hand fell to her shoulder in such a familiar way that the warmth from the touch spread through her instantly, calming her in the strangest ways. Her eyes closed for the briefest of seconds. "You can't give up hope. You just can't. We've been through too much for you to throw your life away – you didn't beat the island for it to end like this." There was always an annoying inkling in the back of her mind that told her that he'd think about this at some point, but every time it raised its ugly head, she pushed it further back because her heart couldn't take it. Right then, the obstinate nature of his choice, his words, cut through her like a dagger. "What about Thea?" she whispered, reining in the emotion building up inside of her. "She can't lose her brother her, too. What about Digg? He's your best friend. Or Roy? Or Sara? Or…Laurel?"

She purposely left herself out of the list, not sure if she could lay out her feelings like that. Once feelings like that were out in the open, they couldn't be taken back. And she wasn't sure if her heart could take any more of a beating right then.

His thumb padded over her collarbone, a sad smile twitching at his lips. "What about you?" he contributed, reading her so easily. He always did read her well; almost as if he was attuned to her, picking up little things that told him when something was off.

"Oliver, I…" she paused, words failing her when she needed them most. "You can't. Please don't."

"_Felicity_," he said in that tone solely reserved for her that made her stomach do all sorts of weird and wonderful things, "I need to keep the people I love safe. I need to keep _you _safe." The breath left her body in one clean swoop, her head rocking back at the admission. Suddenly, her vision wasn't so clear, her legs threatening to buckle. "There's no other choice to make."

Oh no, he was not getting away with it that easily. No way. Not when he just said something like that.

"You promised," she stated, much more determined now.

His eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

"You told me I wasn't going to lose you." His face dropped, the memory rushing back to him. Something flickered in his eyes, softening the harsh edges that had defined them for days. A tug at her heart urged to continue, to get through to him. Tentatively, her hand came up to cradle his cheek and she noted how he rested into the pressure. "_Please don't break that promise, Oliver._"

Finally a choked, warbling sound left him, the steel façade cracking. Felicity could practically see the myriad of things running through his mind; his lost expression so heart-wrenching. "I don't know what else to do, Felicity. I – I'm out of ideas." His hand covered hers. "And I'm afraid," he admitted, his words no more than a wisp in the air.

"Let us help you find another way. We're all here to help and _together_ we will beat Slade and put all of this behind us. I promise."

"But what if we can't?"

"Oliver, there is not one part of me that believes that we won't. I believe in our team and I believe in _you _– even if you don't." That was the moment she chose to smile; an encouragement he so desperately needed. The gesture itself was tiny in size but his eyes widened at the sight, as if seeing it for the very first time.

Hours could have passed with just them staring into one another's eyes; Oliver at war with himself and Felicity confidently driving out his demons; light fighting dark.

When he eventually spoke, it was a solemn declaration but one drenched in acceptance nonetheless. "Okay."

"Okay?" she breathed, needing to hear it again.

He nodded, pulling her to him so he could wrap his arms firmly around her, one hand cupping the back of her head. "Okay." She hugged him back with fierce intensity, relishing in the fact that she had somehow broken through his wall and reached his heart.

Yes, Slade was still out there and though they didn't know what was to happen next, Felicity found rest in the truth that their team, their family, would face it united and that Oliver, as broken as he might have been, had forced the darkness out for now.

No matter the future, she promised that she would always try to rescue him from the dark; that she would always believe in him even when no one else did.

He hugged her tighter.

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**So what'd you guys think? If you have time please drop me a review and let me know what you thought! :)**


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